Beautiful, I just want you to know…

Before I begin, lets just make one thing VERY clear. This is not a post to bash or discriminate against ANY type of woman. ALL women are beautiful and should love themselves and help those who don’t as well.

What makes you beautiful? Most consider the quote “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder” super cliche, but it’s actually genius. I do not believe in comparing struggles, but as a Black Woman warrior, society makes it extremely tough to THRIVE. Not to survive, but THRIVE.. Theres a difference. In today’s world, people are so obsessed with this mixed foreign look/ anything other than just looking black.. As i stated above, there is nothing wrong with those women of that decent who do exist, but the amount of pressure placed on women period is indescribable.

While I was in the UK, I did a presentation on “Should the PROMOTION of cosmetic surgery be banned?” Through this presentation, we had to find theories & evidence based on our choice & support it. I struggled at first for two reasons. I had to remember that 1. My teacher wasn’t asking me If I am for or against people getting cosmetic surgery, instead she wanted to know should doctors and practices be allowed to PROMOTE in others words persuade you that your image could be better. I then struggled with finding evidence because people do not realize how the media influences the people psychologically.

To make a long story short this presentation taught me so much!

1. Society has defined a beauty that does not really exist. — between the use of surgery, body shaping apps, edited ads, filters… do we know that the type of beauty set out has been falsely generated by the media? What is the perfect body or “good” hair?

2. Do you ever notice that we all want what we don’t have? Black girls want straighter hair, lighter skin.. white girls want darker skin or thicker hair? And again, these are stereotypes & no they do not apply to every individual.

3. Tyra Banks quoted years ago that sometimes she looks at her prints & wishes she looked like that girl. Which is a clear representation that the supermodels and celebrities we are “looking up to” and emulating do not even look like their true selves and then are bashed when seen with no make up, or a natural hair.

I got a little off topic here, but it all boils down, to embracing you & loving you. When adversity hit, you can still look in the mirror and KNOW that you beautiful despite what others may think or have to say.

I remember being out with my girls and a guy approached me. He said “you are so beautiful, what are you mixed with?” Most people consider someone mistaking you as mixed flattering, but to say the least… my mouth literally dropped. Granted, I don’t know if I was over reacting… but I was completely offended. He said you have to be Domincan, Native American.. I stared at him and said, nope… “just black”… He took at least 30 minutes trying to figure out what I was “mixed” with? Why do black girls have to be “mixed” with something to be beautiful?

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Model: Simone B. Wright 

And I asked him that.. because I truly wanted to know. He was a little taken back because I may have been the first girl he encountered who didn’t find the whole “you have to be mixed” thing a compliment. So again, this post isn’t neglecting or discriminating against any of my beautiful mixed girls, but more so a statement to understand that Black girls do not have to be mixed or conform with society to be beautiful.

Maybe, I’ll start by taking responsibility… I wasn’t always confident or comfortable with the attributes that my black comes with. I wouldn’t say it was because I lacked inner confidence, but because of school, work, society and their definition and their ability to pick a part what they do not consider “normal” or beautiful especially as a younger girl. I wonder if you guys can relate? I got so much ridicule for my lips being “too big” or my eye brows being “too thick” .. & the list goes on.

The irony in it all—- there are girls out there now filling their eyebrows in to look thicker when it was thin eyebrows that used to be the trend… then we have Kylie out here injecting her lips to look fuller when it was smaller lips that were considered more attractive. This is truly not about me, its just a prime example in finding beauty in every fake flaw that this world has ever embedded in your mind. Now imagine if you are committing to conforming to the trends that society classifies as beauty. You have to ask yourself what happens when that definition of beauty “changes”. You’ll be changing for a life time and chasing an image that truly doesn’t exist.. So if no one EVER told you, you are beautiful just the way you are!

Be you. Love you. Take care of you.